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09/17/23 It's Just a Phase - Rediscover Your Kids

9/20/2023

Icebreakers
To start the discussion, choose one of the following Icebreaker questions. (Or more than one if time allows.) You may want to ask these before the teaching video, whatever works best for you.

Which of your good personality traits did you get from your parents or your kid(s) get from you? Which of the not-so-good ones were inherited?
How are you different now than you were as a kid?
What has been the most surprising change that you’ve observed in your kid(s) or the kids in your life?

Discussion Questions
These questions are a guide to get the conversation started in your group—don’t feel like you need to ask everything you see here! As long as you’re having a conversation, you’re on the right track. Also, feel free to adjust the questions to fit the needs of your specific group.

What are some things you have enjoyed most about the phase the kids in your life are in right now?
Once you think you know your kid, they change! What’s something about your kid or the kids in your life that you wish you knew more about in this phase?
What are some specific ways you can “rediscover” who they are now?
What kinds of questions or needs do you see your kid or the kids in your life processing either with their actions or words?
Consider the roles mentioned during the message for the phase your child is in now. How do you see yourself operating in this role to provide the answer the kids in your life need?
1. Preschool: Embrace their needs
  What are the needs of a preschooler?
2. Elementary school: Engage their interests
  What are the needs of an elementary kid?
3. Middle school: Affirm their personal journey
  What are the needs of a pre-teen?
  What are the needs of a middle school kid?
4. High School: Mobilize their potential
  What are the needs of a high school kid?
What’s one thing you can do this week to grow in your current role as an adult in the life of a kid?

PARENT CUE: Practice becoming a student of your child this week. Are there any likes, dislikes or behaviors you see in your child that you didn’t notice until now? Keep watching and see how much you can learn!
For additional reading, check out the “Discover This Phase” section of your Phase Guide in the Family Toolbox at the church.

09/10/23 It's Just a Phase - Start the Countdown

9/10/2023

Watch this Week's Message

Icebreakers
To start the discussion, choose one of the following Icebreaker Questions. (Or more than one if time allows.) You may want to ask these before the teaching video, whatever works best for you.

What’s one thing you swore you’d never do as a parent . . . that you’ve definitely done?
Come clean—what’s been one of the funniest “parenting fails” in your household? (It has to be your fail! Not the other parent’s!)
How many weeks do you have until your child turns 18? (If you're a parent, you can check the Parent Cue App downloadable from Google Play or the App Store.)

What is something that has changed about your kids or the kids in your life in the last year?
Consider this statement. “When you see how much time you have left, you tend to do more with the time you have now.” How have you seen this in your life in general?
Remind us how many weeks you estimate each of your kids or the kids in your life have left before they turn 18?
How might putting a number to your weeks impact your parenting or your involvement in their lives?
Make a short list of things you hope your kids or the kids in your life will come to believe over time that may be hard to convince them in just a moment.
Can you remember something that your parents or grandparents did over time that fueled you emotionally in a positive way?
What do you think might be your kids or the kids in your life’s favorite thing to do as a family or with you in the phase they are in now?

PARENT CUE: Create a visual countdown (like a marble jar) of the weeks you have left with your child until they move on to their next. You’ll find the number of weeks for your child in your Parent Cue App!
For additional reading, check out the “Measure Your Weeks” section in your Phase Guide found in the FAMILY TOOLBOX at the church or here online.

05/07/23 My Big Fat Bias - Bust that Myth!

5/7/2023

Watch this Week's Message

ICEBREAKER
Let's play myth or truth. Click here for more detailed answers.

Bulls get angry when they see the color red. (myth)
We only use 10 percent of our brains. (myth)
Women accused of witchcraft were burned at the stake during the Salem Witch trials. (myth)
You'll get cramps if you go swimming right after you eat. (myth)
You have to wait 24 hours before submitting a missing person's report. (myth)
Touching a toad will give you warts. (myth)
If you touch a baby bird with your bare hands, its mother will reject it. (myth)

We're discussing a teaching series from church called "By Big Fat Bias: Letting God Shape the Thoughts that Shape You." This series, which is part of a larger series of teachings on wise-decision making, is exploring various cognitive biases we all tend to have in our minds that need to be managed or overcome in order to make godly , wise decisions. This week, our discussion will be around what's known in psychology as the Confirmation Bias and what the Apostle Paul calls "itching ears."

REVIEW & DISCUSS

Read or review John 9.
1. Remind each other what happened in this interaction between Jesus, the blind man, and the pharisees.
  1. Jesus healed the blind man on the sabbath. What is the sabbath and why is that significant in this story?
  2. What were two "myths" the pharisees believed?
    1. It's a sin to do good on the sabbath.
    2. Someone's sin was the reason the man was blind.
  3. How did believing these myths taint the pharisees' ability to believe Jesus healed the blind man and was the Messiah?
2. The pharisees fell victim what is called the confirmation bias.
  *The Confirmation Bias is the tendency to look for and favor information that confirms your existing beliefs and discounting evidence that does not confirm your existing beliefs.
3. Where do you see the confirmation bias affecting and demonstrated by the pharisees?
4. How does their bias affect their interaction with the blind man and his parents? How does it affect their view of Jesus?
Read or review 2 Timothy 4:1-5.
1. Paul uses the phrase "itching ears." How is this similar to the "confirmation bias"?
2. What do people with itching ears tend to do?
3. In verse 1, what does Paul tell Timothy (a pastor) to do when the people around him have these "itching ears"?
  "Preach the word, correct, rebuke, and encourage"
4. In what manner does he tell Timothy to do these things?
  "with great patience and careful instruction"
5. What additional instructions does Paul give Timothy in verse 5?
  "keep your head, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry"
In what ways do you see people falling victim to the "confirmation bias" in the world today?
1. In what ways to you see yourself falling victim to the confirmation bias in your life?
2. To what kinds of sin can it lead?
3. Is anyone immune to it?
4. How can we manage it?
  1. Hold your opinions lightly
  2. Allow yourself to be wrong
  3. Test your thinking (look for ways your view is wrong, not just ways it's right)
  4. Beware of repetition

PRAYER
First, take some time to identify ways you can pray about what you just discussed. Second, take some time to ask for additional prayer requests. Then close your time together in praise and prayer.

04/16/2023 - My Big Fat Bias: Take Every Thought Captive!

4/16/2023

Watch this Week's Message

ICEBREAKER
Would you rather be right on time or early to a meeting or gathering?

We're discussing a teaching series from church called "By Big Fat Bias: Letting God Shape the Thoughts that Shape You." This series, which is part of a larger series of teachings on wise-decision making, is exploring various cognitive biases we all tend to have in our minds that need to be managed or overcome in order to make godly decisions. This week, our discussion will be around what's known in psychology as the Actor-Observer Bias but more commonly known as blaming and judging others.

REVIEW & DISCUSS

Read or review Numbers 20:1-13, Exodus 17:1-7 and Deuteronomy 1:37.
1. Have you ever led or imagine leading a road trip where the people with you (kids, friends, coworkers, etc.) were constantly complaining?
  1. What was or what would that like?
  2. How did or would their complaining affect you and your mood?
  3. How did or would it make you feel? How did or would it make you feel about yourself?
  4. How did or would you likely react or respond?
2. Describe what you think it would've been like for Moses to have been obedient to God in confronting Pharoah and leading the Hebrews out of Egypt only to face constant complaining from them about their conditions and his leadership.
3. What was the reason God forbade Moses from entering the Promised Land? See Numbers 20:10, 12.
  Note: Moses took credit for the work of God and angrily called the Israelites 'rebels.'
  1. What were the factors contributing to Moses' desire to take credit for something good.
    Note: feeling insecure about his leadership, feeling defensive, exhaustion, etc.
  2. What was Moses' response to God's decision? See Deuteronomy 1:37.
Moses fell to the Actor-Observer Bias*. He judged the people for their sin and attributed it to their internal wickedness (Numbers 14:27) and rebelliousness (Numbers 20:10). But then when he sinned by judging the Israelites and taking credit for the work of God, he blamed the Israelites for it rather than taking responsibility for himself.
* The Actor-Observer Bias is tendency to attribute your own negative behaviors to external causes while attributing other people’s negative behaviors to internal causes and deficiencies.
1. In what ways have you seen the Actor-Observer Bias at work in other people? How did it affect you and your relationship with them?
2. In what ways have you seen this bias at work in your own life? How did it affect your relationship with others?
Paul says that as followers of Christ, we "take every thought captive, to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5). What steps can we take to take this bias captive and make it obedient to Christ?
1. Catch it - What are some tell-tale signs that this bias is at work in yourself?
2. Name it - What could you do when you recognize it?
  1. How could you name it to yourself?
  2. How could you name it to others?
3. Train it - What could you do or say to yourself to train this bias to be obedient to Christ?
  1. Ask questions - What kinds of questions could you ask yourself that would help you train this bias?
  2. Replace lies with truth - What lies need to be replaced and what truths need to be remembered?

03-19-23 Honey for the Soul: The Freedom of Wisdom

3/19/2023

ICEBREAKER
How did you decide who you would marry? Or, what you would choose for your vocation?

We're discussing a teaching series from church called "Honey for the Soul: The Sweet Hope of Wisdom." This is based on Proverbs 24:14 which says, "Wisdom is like honey for you: if you find it, there is a future hope for you." This week, our discussion will be around the freedom God gives us to choose and some of the principles God gives us for choosing wisely.

Are you following the reading through Proverbs? How's that going for you?
Have any particular proverbs from this week's reading stood to you?

REVIEW & DISCUSS

In his book, Decision Making and the Will of God, Gary Friesen says the first principle of decision making is "Where God commands, we must obey."
1. Which commands must we obey in the Old Testament?
  Remember, there are three types of law in the OT—Ceremonial Law, Civil Law, and Ethical Law. Both the Jewish Ceremonial Law and the Jewish Civil Law are now obsolete. Only the Ethical Law remains in effect. It is this "law" that Jesus says he did not come to abolish but to fulfill (Matthew 5:16-18).
2. What are some of the Commands of Christ that we must obey?
3. What are some of the commands we receive elsewhere in the New Testament?
  Think about the One Anothers.
Friesen's second principle of decision making is "Where there is no command, God gives us freedom."
1. How have you thought of God's will for you? Like a dot and your job is to make sure you land on it or like a fence inside of which you have freedom to choose?
2. What does realizing that we have freedom to choose do to your decision making process?
Friesen's third principle of decision making is "Where there is no command, God gives us wisdom."
Read 1 Corinthians 10:23-33. In this part of Paul's letter to the Corinthians, he's applying four larger principles of wisdom to a specific decision the Corinthians must make—should they eat meat that has been sacrificed to an idol? Those four principles are as follows. Godly Wisdom is ...
1. God Honoring (see vs 31)
2. People Loving (see vs 24 & 28)
3. Self Caring (see vs 27, 29-30 and chapter 9)
4. Kingdom Promoting (see vs 33 and 9:19)
Think of a significant decision you need to make. What might that decision look like within these four principles?

03-12-23 Honey for the Soul: The Anatomy of Wisdom

3/13/2023

ICEBREAKER
What's a great decision you've made in your life?

We're discussing a teaching series from church called "Honey for the Soul: The Sweet Hope of Wisdom." This is based on Proverbs 24:14 which says, "Wisdom is like honey for you: if you find it, there is a future hope for you." This week, our discussion will be around how we make decisions and will be reference Colossians 1, Proverbs 1, and what psychologists have learned about the decision-making process.

Are you participating in the church's reading plan through Proverbs?
1. How is that going?
2. Have any particular proverbs really stood to you in your readings?

REVIEW & DISCUSS

Have you ever pushed an elevator button multiple times expecting it to come to you faster?
1. Did it change the outcome?
2. Why do you think you did that?
3. What are some other silly things we do that don't make sense? Why do you think we do those things?
There are three general levels of wisdom. While this isn't clear and evident from a face-value reading of the text, it is more evident in a broader understanding of how the bible refers to wisdom. The foundational level is sophia which is Intellectual, Theoretical, or Philosophical Wisdom and has to do with our knowledge—our "knowing". The middle level is sunesis which is Synthesizing or Analytical Wisdom and has to do with our understanding—our "thinking." It's within this level that all our mental and emotional processing happens. It's a very complicated level of wisdom with lots of "filters" and "gates." The third level is phronimos which is Pragmatic or Practical Wisdom demonstrated in our choices and decisions—our "doing". Solomon refers to all three levels in Proverbs 1:2-3 and the Apostle Paul refers to all three levels in Colossians 1:9-10.
1. On Sunday, Pastor Jim highlighted how complicated making wise decisions can be. This is especially because of the filters knowledge has to go through in the middle. Can you recall what some of the internal filters are that complicate our decisions and how have you seen them complicate decision in your own life?
2. How can knowledge and understanding of your personality help you make wiser decisions?
3. How can knowledge of your family of origin help you make wiser decisions?
4. How can knowledge of your emotional and mental biases help you make wiser decisions?
5. How can knowledge of mental distortions or lies help you make wiser decisions?
Is there any area in your life in which you'd like to grow in more wisdom, now?

03-05-23 Honey for the Soul: The Sweet Taste of Wisdom

3/7/2023

ICEBREAKER
Whose house did you love going to when you were a child? Was there food involved? What did it smell like? What were the people like? Why did you love it so much?

We're discussing a teaching series from church called "Honey for the Soul: The Sweet Hope of Wisdom." This is based on Proverbs 24:14 which says, "Wisdom is like honey for you: if you find it, there is a future hope for you." This week, our discussion will be around Proverbs chapter 9 and Lady Wisdom's call to come eat at her table.

REVIEW & DISCUSS

Are you participating in the church's reading plan through Proverbs?
1. How is that going?
2. Did you watch the introductory videos? What did you think of them?
Read Proverbs 9:1-6.
Proverbs 9:1 says, "Wisdom has built her house; she has set up its seven pillars." James 3:17 gives us insight to these "seven pillars."
1. How have you experienced God's wisdom in your life as being "pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive (agreeable), full of mercy and good fruit, impartial, and sincere?"
2. Can you describe what it's like to be around a wise person who models these characteristics?
3. Can you name anyone as an example?
Lady Wisdom says "come to my house."
1. Where in your life have you found that you've grown in wisdom?
2. Was it in your family home? Was it in particular group or bible study? Was it in a church? Was it in a school or program?
Lady Wisdom says "eat my food."
1. In what ways are you choosing to eat the food of wisdom and how is it helping you grow in wisdom?
2. This would include any bible reading habits, any current groups or studies, church, podcasts, etc.
Lady Wisdom says, "leave your simple (foolish) ways." Would you be willing to share an example of how you've left your foolish ways since growing in God's wisdom?
Is there any area in your life in which you'd like to grow in more wisdom, now?

02-26-23 Honey for the Soul: The Sweet Hope of Wisdom

2/27/2023

ICEBREAKER
What's a wise saying you've heard that has stuck with you and why?

We're discussing a teaching series from church called "Honey for the Soul: The Sweet Hope of Wisdom." This is based on Proverbs 24:14 which says, "Wisdom is like honey for you: if you find it, there is a future hope for you." This week, our discussion will be around Proverbs chapter 1, James 1:5, and the benefits of desiring and asking for wisdom.

REVIEW & DISCUSS

Are you participating in the church's reading plan through Proverbs?
1. How is that going?
2. Did you watch the introductory videos? What did you think of them?
Read Proverbs 24:13-14.
1. What some ways you enjoy honey and why?
2. In what ways is wisdom like honey?
3. What are some benefits of being wise?
Who have you know in your life that you considered to be very wise and why?
Read Proverbs 1:1-7.
1. In this passage we see hints of several components of wisdom: Knowledge, Understanding, Doing/Applying, and Moral Righteousness. How are these things all connected and why are they necessary for godly wisdom?
2. This passage also lays out what is necessary to gain wisdom: Listening for wisdom, learning from wisdom, letting yourself grow in wisdom, and fearing (respecting and trusting) God.
  1. Who have you listened to for wisdom?
  2. What are some things you have learned that have helped you grow in wisdom?
  3. How has your fear of God changed your understanding of what is wise?
Read James 1:5-8.
1. When is a time when you either lacked wisdom necessary to make wise choices or chose to not make the wise decision that you knew needed to be made?
2. Have you ever "asked God for wisdom"? Were you confident in receiving and trusting that wisdom?

02-12-2023 This is Living! B.L.E.S.S.ing

2/15/2023

ICEBREAKER
How did you or your family become Christians? Did anyone lead you to Christ?

We're discussing a teaching series from church called "This is Living!: The Thrill of Life in Christ." This week, our discussion will be around Jesus' where Jesus taught his disciples that serving others is greater than being served.

REVIEW & DISCUSS
REVIEW
This week, our discussion stems the Great Commission found in Matthew 28:18-20. Particularly the "go and make" part. B.L.E.S.S. is a way of thinking about loving our neighbors. BLESS is five missional practices that help us introduce people to Jesus.
B - Begin with Prayer
L - Listen with Care
E - Eat Together
S - Serve with Love
S - Share your Story
DISCUSS

Begin with Prayer
1. Where have you been blessed in your life by the prayers of other people for you?
2. How do you want to approach prayer for the unchurched people in your life?
3. How might we respond?
4. Could you start a BLESS prayer list and listen to the Spirit as you write out prayers for your list?
Listen with Care
The R.E.A.D. strategy can help you hear others well.
Repeat what the person shared until they let you know they feel heard. Experience—name the emotions the other person experienced in the story they shared. Affirm every true thing you can about their position or experience. Disclose—only now do you “disclose” your view or offer a challenge.
1. When have you cried out to Jesus, and felt that he listened, heard you, responded, and that he valued you?
2. In what ways do you need to grow in listening to others and in showing that you value them?
3. In your life, who is far from God right now that you want to listen to more deeply, and to care for and value?
Eat Together
1. When have you experienced the bonding power of hospitality and eating together?
2. What have you learned about how to cultivate opportunities to eat with others?
Serve with Love
1. Think about people who have served you in a way that made a difference in your life, or ways you have seen someone exhibit the kind of service Jesus practiced. Tell a story about an experience of being served and why it was meaningful.
2. Which acts of service come naturally to you? Where would you like to grow?
3. Do you care for people in the ways you want to feel loved, or in ways you think they want to feel loved?
Share your Story
1. Have you ever shared your story with anyone who isn't a believer?
2. How will you explain to someone on your B.L.E.S.S. list how Jesus has changed your life? Is there a particular image of grace on the grace wheel that resonates more with you than others?

02-05-23 This is Living - Serving

2/5/2023

ICEBREAKER
When is a time when someone serving you made a big impact on your life?

We're discussing a teaching series from church called "This is Living!: The Thrill of Life in Christ." During this series we'll be exploring the "abundant life" in Christ and how to find it. This week, our discussion will be around Mark 10 where Jesus taught his disciples that serving others is greater than being served.

REVIEW & DISCUSS
Read Mark 10:35-45.

What are some ways in which you enjoy serving others (formal like organized ministries or informal like spontaneously helping)? Also, name any particular ministries in which you're involved and what you do.
What's your why? Why are you so committed to serving others in this way?
Is it ever stressful or hard? How do you get through those times?
What words of encouragement do you have for people who are serving?
Is there any area in which you have been considering the possibility of serving? How can we pray for you?

<<Previous

09/17/23 It's Just a Phase - Rediscover Your Kids

09/10/23 It's Just a Phase - Start the Countdown

05/07/23 My Big Fat Bias - Bust that Myth!

04/16/2023 - My Big Fat Bias: Take Every Thought Captive!

03-19-23 Honey for the Soul: The Freedom of Wisdom

03-12-23 Honey for the Soul: The Anatomy of Wisdom

03-05-23 Honey for the Soul: The Sweet Taste of Wisdom

02-26-23 Honey for the Soul: The Sweet Hope of Wisdom

02-12-2023 This is Living! B.L.E.S.S.ing

02-05-23 This is Living - Serving

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