Category: It's Just A Phase

10/15/23 It's Just a Phase - Create a Rhythm at Home

10/12/2023

Icebreakers
To start the discussion, choose one of the following Icebreaker Questions. (Or more than one if time allows.) You may want to ask these before the teaching video, whatever works best for you.

Who in your family has more natural “rhythm” — on the dance floor?
What’s your go-to dance move?

Discussion Questions
These questions are a guide to get the conversation started in your group—don’t feel like you need to ask everything you see here! As long as you’re having a conversation, you’re on the right track. Also, feel free to adjust the questions to fit the needs of your specific group.

Can you recall the roles we play with each time of the day?
1. Morning Time - Cheerleader
2. Drive Time - Friend
3. Meal Time - Teacher
4. Bed Time - Counselor
How do you feel about the daily rhythm of your family or life right now? What are at least three consistent times you have together or in contact with the kids in your life? (Morning time, drive time, etc…)
How have you seen or did you see your family rhythm shift over time? And, what is your favorite time of day with the kid in your life right now?
What do you think your kids or the kids in your life would say are the values of your or their home?
How might you leverage routine time to become more intentional about instilling these values in your kids or the kids in your life?
How can you leverage the time you have every day (or every week) with your kid in this phase to focus on the things that matter?
From everything we’ve talked about these last six weeks, what’s your biggest takeaway? How will you implement this in your family or the life you have with the kids in your life going forward?

PARENT CUE: Decide which times of day or week work best for you to be intentional with your kids. You may want to schedule them in your calendar. Choose to prioritize those times this week (and the weeks going forward) and watch what happens!

For additional learning, check out “The Rhythm Of Your Week” section in your Phase Guide.
For more phase specific cues to build into the rhythm of your week, download the Parent Cue App.

10/08/23 It's Just a Phase - Connect Your Kid to a Bigger Purpose

10/8/2023

Watch This Week's Message

What’s the craziest or funniest question your kids have asked you about faith, God, or church?
What’s one thing you can remember your parents saying about faith growing up?

Consider this statement. “The way your child loves God affects everything else in their life.” How do you agree or disagree with that statement?
Is it freeing or uncomfortable to think that all the Bible can be summed up with the word LOVE?
What do you want to be true about your kid’s faith one day when they grow up and leave your home?
On a scale of 1 – 10 how confident do you feel having faith conversations with your kid or the kids in your life, and why? What resources (or people) might help you feel more confident?
What do you feel is most helpful in growing your kid’s faith in the phase they’re in now? (ex. Church, mission experiences, school FCA, family conversations, etc…)

PARENT CUE: Choose one simple thing to do this week to help your family connect to a bigger story—talk about your faith, ask your child a question, volunteer/help someone in need, discover something new about God in a story from the Bible.
For additional ideas for the phase you are in now, read about the Faith Conversation in the Four Conversations section of your Phase Guide.

10/01/23 It's Just a Phase - Talk About What Matters Most

10/2/2023

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What thing have your kid(s) or the kids in your life done or asked that has caught you most off guard?
What’s the most awkward conversation you ever had with your parents growing up?

Which of these conversations as a parent or an adult in the life of a kid gives you the most anxiety—health, technology, or sex? Why?
How does your child or the kid in your life respond when you approach him or her with personal conversations? How have you seen this change through the phases?
HEALTH. What are your biggest concerns related to helping the kids in your life form healthy habits? What are some good or bad habits that you see developing?
SEX. When it comes to sexual integrity, what conversations can you have today that will lead to better decisions tomorrow? What conversations have you already had? How did they go?
TECHNOLOGY. What guidelines do/did you (if you are a parent) have in place to help your kid leverage technology in a positive way? What are some issues you have already had to navigate?
In your experience, what’s the best time, place, or approach for you to have these kinds of conversations with the kids in your life at this age?
When you look ahead to who your child or the kids in your life will become, what do you want to be true for them in the areas of health, sex, and technology?

PARENT CUE: Evaluate where you are on each of these three issues. Choose one thing you can do next to help move your child in a better direction in one of these areas. To begin, check out the “Four Conversations To Have In This Phase” section in your Phase Guide.

09/24/23 It's Just a Phase - The Inheritance Your Kids Need

9/24/2023

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What’s the happiest memory you had as a child growing up?
What’s something you remember your parents saying to you over and over again growing up?
What story have you heard, read, or watched that has had the most impact on your life?

LOVE. What are ways you are already showing up consistently to show your child or the kids in your life that you love them over time?
WORDS. What are a few words that you want your kid or the kids in your life to remember when they are older? What are some words your family repeats over and over?
STORIES. What’s a story about your family that you want your kids or the kids in your life to know? How could it give them a healthy context of who they are and where they come from?
FUN. What do you do with the kids in your life to have fun together? What is something you want to do more of?
WORK. What kind of responsibilities will you give the kids in your life in this phase?
TRIBES. How can you lean more into others to help the kids in your life in this phase?
Love. Words. Stories. Fun. Work. Tribes. Out of the six, which of these do you feel you do well? What are one or two things you would like to work on?

PARENT CUE: Choose one of the six things to focus on this week with your child and decide on one thing you will do. How can you build this into your weekly routine?
For additional reading, check out the “Six Things Every Kid Needs” in your Phase Guide.

09/17/23 It's Just a Phase - Rediscover Your Kids

9/20/2023

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Icebreakers
To start the discussion, choose one of the following Icebreaker questions. (Or more than one if time allows.) You may want to ask these before the teaching video, whatever works best for you.

Which of your good personality traits did you get from your parents or your kid(s) get from you? Which of the not-so-good ones were inherited?
How are you different now than you were as a kid?
What has been the most surprising change that you’ve observed in your kid(s) or the kids in your life?

What are some things you have enjoyed most about the phase the kids in your life are in right now?
Once you think you know your kid, they change! What’s something about your kid or the kids in your life that you wish you knew more about in this phase?
What are some specific ways you can “rediscover” who they are now?
What kinds of questions or needs do you see your kid or the kids in your life processing either with their actions or words?
Consider the roles mentioned during the message for the phase your child is in now. How do you see yourself operating in this role to provide the answer the kids in your life need?
1. Preschool: Embrace their needs
  What are the needs of a preschooler?
2. Elementary school: Engage their interests
  What are the needs of an elementary kid?
3. Middle school: Affirm their personal journey
  What are the needs of a pre-teen?
  What are the needs of a middle school kid?
4. High School: Mobilize their potential
  What are the needs of a high school kid?
What’s one thing you can do this week to grow in your current role as an adult in the life of a kid?

PARENT CUE: Practice becoming a student of your child this week. Are there any likes, dislikes or behaviors you see in your child that you didn’t notice until now? Keep watching and see how much you can learn!
For additional reading, check out the “Discover This Phase” section of your Phase Guide in the Family Toolbox at the church.

05/07/23 My Big Fat Bias - Bust that Myth!

5/7/2023

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ICEBREAKER
Let's play myth or truth. Click here for more detailed answers.

Bulls get angry when they see the color red. (myth)
We only use 10 percent of our brains. (myth)
Women accused of witchcraft were burned at the stake during the Salem Witch trials. (myth)
You'll get cramps if you go swimming right after you eat. (myth)
You have to wait 24 hours before submitting a missing person's report. (myth)
Touching a toad will give you warts. (myth)
If you touch a baby bird with your bare hands, its mother will reject it. (myth)

We're discussing a teaching series from church called "By Big Fat Bias: Letting God Shape the Thoughts that Shape You." This series, which is part of a larger series of teachings on wise-decision making, is exploring various cognitive biases we all tend to have in our minds that need to be managed or overcome in order to make godly , wise decisions. This week, our discussion will be around what's known in psychology as the Confirmation Bias and what the Apostle Paul calls "itching ears."

REVIEW & DISCUSS

Read or review John 9.
1. Remind each other what happened in this interaction between Jesus, the blind man, and the pharisees.
  1. Jesus healed the blind man on the sabbath. What is the sabbath and why is that significant in this story?
  2. What were two "myths" the pharisees believed?
    1. It's a sin to do good on the sabbath.
    2. Someone's sin was the reason the man was blind.
  3. How did believing these myths taint the pharisees' ability to believe Jesus healed the blind man and was the Messiah?
2. The pharisees fell victim what is called the confirmation bias.
  *The Confirmation Bias is the tendency to look for and favor information that confirms your existing beliefs and discounting evidence that does not confirm your existing beliefs.
3. Where do you see the confirmation bias affecting and demonstrated by the pharisees?
4. How does their bias affect their interaction with the blind man and his parents? How does it affect their view of Jesus?
Read or review 2 Timothy 4:1-5.
1. Paul uses the phrase "itching ears." How is this similar to the "confirmation bias"?
2. What do people with itching ears tend to do?
3. In verse 1, what does Paul tell Timothy (a pastor) to do when the people around him have these "itching ears"?
  "Preach the word, correct, rebuke, and encourage"
4. In what manner does he tell Timothy to do these things?
  "with great patience and careful instruction"
5. What additional instructions does Paul give Timothy in verse 5?
  "keep your head, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry"
In what ways do you see people falling victim to the "confirmation bias" in the world today?
1. In what ways to you see yourself falling victim to the confirmation bias in your life?
2. To what kinds of sin can it lead?
3. Is anyone immune to it?
4. How can we manage it?
  1. Hold your opinions lightly
  2. Allow yourself to be wrong
  3. Test your thinking (look for ways your view is wrong, not just ways it's right)
  4. Beware of repetition

PRAYER
First, take some time to identify ways you can pray about what you just discussed. Second, take some time to ask for additional prayer requests. Then close your time together in praise and prayer.

10/15/23 It's Just a Phase - Create a Rhythm at Home

10/08/23 It's Just a Phase - Connect Your Kid to a Bigger Purpose

10/01/23 It's Just a Phase - Talk About What Matters Most

09/24/23 It's Just a Phase - The Inheritance Your Kids Need

09/17/23 It's Just a Phase - Rediscover Your Kids

05/07/23 My Big Fat Bias - Bust that Myth!

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