April 2025

A BURNING HEART

Last week I went to Tucson, AZ, for a retreat designed for pastors. It's called "Deeper in Christ" and is sponsored by our denomination, the Evangelical Covenant Church, as part of their “Sustaining Pastoral Excellence” ministry.

I experienced individualized spiritual guidance, evaluation of my spiritual and emotional health, and worship and prayer with communion twice a day with a group of 11 retreatants and 7 directors. And I spent lots of time alone with God in personal prayer, fasting, and time in his Word.

It was such a renewing experience for me. I've been longing for more in my own spiritual journey and for a new perspective on what God is doing in my life and our church.

They provided many opportunities for us to draw closer to God and reflect on our faith journeys and ministries. Multiple times each day, my heart was calmed with the rhythms of prayer and reading scripture. I even found a favorite chair to sit in each day as I prayed and read, periodically gazing over the valley and lifting my eyes up to the mountain, looking to the one from whom my help comes.
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I found the Spirit stirring in my soul and drawing me closer to him during our times as a group. One moment stands out to me most prominently. 

I was in the middle of a 30-hour fast in the middle of the week. I hadn't planned it. I just felt called to it. At first, it was for only one meal. But then it stretched to the next and then to the next—all by some internal craving for something more satisfying than even the feasts they served us in the dining hall. In the middle of this fast, one of the directors led us through a slow and reflective reading of the story of Jesus appearing to the disciples on the road to Emmaus, found in Luke 24:13-35. 

As soon as she began, with my eyes closed and imagining being there with them in the text, my emotions started overwhelming me so much that I didn't understand what was happening. I found myself feeling excited when the disciples, not realizing that they were talking to Jesus, told the man about all the things that had happened. I found myself enthralled with the idea of hearing Jesus himself explain everything to them. I found myself deeply loved when they ate together in the evening. And I found myself just as shocked as they were when they realized that the man in front of them was Jesus, immediately followed by his disappearance! I didn't understand why my emotions were so on fire.

Until the director read verse 32, "They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”

It was then that the Lord revealed to me that he was simply giving me the gift of a "burning heart." It was such a renewing moment for me.

I'm so thankful for that time I had in the desert. It was a time of self-denial and a deep longing for more of God. It was an environment rich with the Spirit's presence, the space needed for rest and renewal, and the opportunities for new friendships and experiences—the impact of which will stay with me for a long time.

My friends, I encourage you to foster the flame that flickers in your hearts. Carve out the time you need to get away just to be with God. Reflect deeply on His Word. Pray with a listening ear. And allow His Spirit to give you the gift of a burning heart.